Monday, March 26, 2007

.: Access Point Whore :.

In the past 6 months alone, I have had the opportunity to burn through 4 wireless Access Points (AP) in my house.

In honor of the departed, the poor APs on the right, from top to bottom:
1. Orinocco AP 4000 by Proxim - Dead after 3 weeks (firmware corruption)
2. 3Com OfficeConnect-G - Dead after 1 year (board malfunction)
3. 3Com OfficeConnect-G - Dead after 1 week (firmware corruption)
4. AP 2500 by Proxim - Dead upon first use (bad original firmware and config)
On the left, is my new and currently in use, Linksys Wireless-G. Let's see how long this baby can last.
And oh yes, I do have the bad habit of tweaking and torturing all my hardwares until they die miserable and painful deaths. Oh yes baby!

.: Max :.

Our Max... the cutest lil thing...

.: LiGhTs.[DeSiGn] :.

Ah, finally managed to get my website up and running after the long period of maintenance.

Check it out:



.: Adelaine :.

If someone were to ask me, name the most perfect person you've ever known, I would enthusiastically shout out, "Adelaine. Definitely Adelaine. Gosh, you gotta meet her man!"

Her mere presence can bring smiles to a boring party, lift anyone who's in gloom, and she never ever fail to make me laugh each time we get the rare chance to talk. She's the kind of gal that brings out the best in everybody. And she makes everyone just wanna be a better person (a cliche I borrowed from "As Good As It Gets"). Just like that.

I've known her for probably as long as anybody would, and together, we've been through some really cool ups and downs, especially the time when we were college mates. And I assure you, nobody would ever forget this wonderful person, least of all me.

She listens, she gives honest advice and she's willing to help out anyone. I'll bet you if there's ever a person who would lend a perfect stranger money for food, well....

Did I also tell you that Adelaine is also one of the smartest person around? She aces everything in life: high school, college and now, career.

I know what you're thinkin. Now, a person that has been gifted all of the above are usually one of those geeky girl you find in every class, who is everyone's friend, but whom nobody's willing to date.

God, however, has granted Adelaine another gift: She happens to also be one of the hottest babe I've ever met. And believe me, I don't pay compliments like these easily. Heck, she was one of the beauty queens of our college. And honestly, I think she puts those silly Miss Malaysia, Miss Cheongsam, Miss Chinese and Miss Whatever I-Want-World-Peace to utter shame. Everytime.

Adelaine, perfect!

Now, Ade, that last entry you posted on your blog about men being unfaithful, well, I STRONGLY disagree. I was just hoping that after reading this posting, you would grant me the wish of having it changed to something that reflected more fairly on my fellow men. Heck, I've probably met more cheating gurls than men. Honest!

http://adelaine.blogspot.com

Friday, March 23, 2007

.: Love and Prayers :.


Caryn,

My heartfelt condolences. And sorry that this message came so so late.

Love and prayers,

Leon


Thursday, March 22, 2007

.: Jono's Confession :.

Extra, Extra, read all about it. Jono walks around naked. ALL the bloody time.

This is probably one of the most honest blog I've ever come across. It's gross, but hey, at least it's original.

Oh, and he's got a great blog too.... really took the time to spice it up with .. well, girly stuffs.

http://jo-no.blogspot.com/2007/01/jono-confession.html



Tuesday, March 20, 2007

.: Dear Hot Chicks :.

This post (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/281499301.html) is so darn funny, I thought I'd re-post it here:


Dear Hot Chicks,

Hi, my name is Tim, or Joe, or Sam. Though we haven't had a formal introduction I'm sure you know me, or at least what I represent here. I'm fat guys. I'm nerdy guys. I'm short guys, bald guys, dorky guys, spazzes, weirdos. Hobos, and guys without great jobs, cars, or clothes. I just wanted to take a second to talk to you about something very important to me, something it doesn't seem that you realize:

If you are physically attractive and dress in such a way to grab the attention of attractive males, you will also grab the attention of us unattractive males.

I'm sorry you're attractive though I am not. Believe me, it is probably as hard for me as it is for you. It isn't like I didn't sometimes wish I was some hot dude with whom you would make out at some shitty party with bad music. But just so you know, you were showing a lot of cleavage on the escalator at Barnes and Noble today and even though I wasn't the guy you wanted to attract, I like boobs just like he does. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the creepy guys. I know how to look at some boobs without staring or showing up in your driveway, but if you catch me checking you out please don't look so pissed off. What if I knew some hot dude and was about to point him in your direction but changed my mind because now you seem like a bitch? Bet you didn't think of that while buying that short skirt did you?

Please don't think I'm asking you to become the chick in the bar who is a little ugly and past her prime who wants any and all guys to stare at her and have endless conversations about sexuality like that one time in college when she totally made out with some chick at a party and a whole bunch of frat guys got boners. I'm just saying, if you go fishing don't get mad if you catch a boot, or a tin can, or even maybe some seaweed.

.: The Dreaded Commitment :.

I was watching the long winded movie, "An Officer and A Gentleman" starring Richard Gere last night, and boy, what a LONG movie it was.

Not much substance to it, I must add, but there's one point finely highlighted rather beautifully in the film: the phobia of men towards commitment and the tricks slimy bitches are using to lure men to get hitched. *sigh*

Ladies, leave men ALONE!!!!!!!!

So what if we like to live as if there's not a care in the world? So what if we love to have free flowing sex, booze and fast cars? So what if we booze and smoked and get stoned till we dropped? So what if we are still not ready to settle down, even at the age of 40?

So what, so what, so what?

You wanna settle down? Fine. Go find some geeky virgin fresh out of high school. You want a husband? Fine, go get one on Match.com or answer to the newspaper ads.

How come every gal goes out with a guy, and immediately plans for the long term shit (with some even thinking about the kids' names)?

Why can't we just go out with you, shag, and leave it at that? Why can't we take things as it comes, you know, live like there's no tomorrow, TODAY?

*sigh* Just leave us the hell alone, alright?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

.: Female Drivers are CRAP :.

Attn: Director
Road Safety Department
Ministry of Transportation

Dear Sir,

RE: Immediate Ban of All Female Drivers On Malaysian Roads

With reference to the above, I would like to call to your attention on the extremely poor driving skills (that is, if you can call them "skills" at all) of female homosapiens and the hazards they pose to other innocent road users.

I strongly believe that most major road accidents, injuries and deaths are caused by or related to females (kindly refer to attachment below for further statistics).

Allow me to summarise some of my findings in the regular driving problems of women:


  • Females think that when she enters a highway, she should enter directly into the fast lane, despite the fact that the ongoing car is coming at 90 KM/h.
  • Females assume that one may drive on the highway at any speeds convenient to themselves, and personally, I have trailed women drivers countless times on the overtaking lanes driving at 50 KM/h, whilst flashing my lights so much that I though my bulbs were gonna melt.
  • Women generally feels that it is perfectly alright to do makeups and touch ups (FYI, touch ups are similar to make ups, just that make up is like tarring a new road, but touch up is more to patching the pot holes) in the car, WHILE its in motion. Since we are on that subject, FYI also, mascarra is like painting the street lamps to make them look taller, foundation is well, the rocks below the tar road, eye shadow is the flowers you plant by the streets to make it look more grand than it actually is and lastly, the eye liner is like you have a one lane road, but you paint it to look like its got two lanes.

Anyway, I digress.



  • Women drivers are usually emotional subjects. They are unable to think logically, inclined to panic and cannot judge speed and distance accurately. Allow me to remind you that each one of the flaws are perilous by themself, nevermind a combination of all of them (which every women is scientifically proven to suffer from).
  • Lastly, two words, my good sir: parallel parking.

I trust that you see the point I am trying to make. Suggestions to eradicate this grave social ill are as follows:



  • Immediate ban of all drivers of the female gender
  • Strong enforcement and jail terms for offenders.
  • Introduce the bicycle as an alternative and compulsary mode of transportation for females (it's GREEN, it's healthy, and all of us guys get to see bouncy uh, assets as added bonus)

Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. And there is no time in history more desperate than now. People are dying out there as you are readin this, Sir. My brethrens brothers (skillful and proper male road users) are being terminated in large quantities daily. These are very real and tangible HUMAN lives that we are talking about.


We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day the world will call out in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Road Safety Day!



Thank you.



Yours Sincerely,




Leon





Appendix A: Various Goverment Research Statistics and Findings



http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=607202
http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/ohim/womens/chap26.pdf
http://www.atsb.gov.au/publications/1998/pdf/Gender_Fem_5.pdf

http://www.atsb.gov.au/publications/1998/pdf/Gender_Fem_3.pdf


http://ph.state.al.us/chs/HealthStatistics/Reports/mva1.PDF

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=12214367&dopt=Abstract


Appendix B: Female Drivers are CRAP








Friday, March 02, 2007

.: Criterias :.

After reading thru MINI's blog (http://www.minishorts.net/) about the criterias her mom set for her about dating a man, I couldn't help but noticed how similar my mom's lists was, despite me being a guy and all.

And so, if my memory serves me right, here's the list (or pretty much most of it)


1. Must be Chinese.
2. Must be younger than me. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
3. Must be educated at least until university. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
4. Must have stable job. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
5. Must be loyal. (and just how the hell am I supposed to judge that, I am still lost after all these years)
6.Must not be Muslim. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
7. Must know how to save money.
8. Must not be lazy, otherwise I have to work my entire life to feed my wife. (uh?)
9. Must not like to talk to other men except me only. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
10. Must not be a smoker. (or else she would chase her out of the house with a broomstick)
11. Must not drink.
12. Preferably teochew or hokkien. Hakka is totally banned.
13. Preferably not earning more than you. (or she will be dominating and rebellious)
14. Preferably around 1 to 3 years younger than me.
15. Preferably from a well-to-do family and educated. (Doctors, Lawyers or Engineers preferred)
16. Preferably willing to share financial burdens with me.


Now, here's where the list gets different from Mini's:

17. Must be able to cook, clean and wash.
18. Must be totally domesticated and submissive.
19. Must be tall, preferably above 5' 6" and look HOT. (her words were "pretty, with big eyes and feminine traits")
20. Must have a great, tight arse. (yes, indeed that's my mom's criteria, not mine. Okay, so happens that I love great tight arses too, but according to my mom, it's better for child bearing purposes)
21. Cannot come from broken families.
22. Must love children.
23. Must not quarrel with mom in law, auntie in laws and any other in laws.
24. Must be able to speak, read and write in fluent Mandarin and English. (basically an Oxford educated Ah Lian... hmm)
25. Must be an untainted virgin. And cannot have sex till we are both married.


Okay. So let me sum it up:

I'm supposed to search for a VIRGIN CHINESE Holly Valance, who knows how to cook and loves ALL other household chores, educated with a PhD in Neurosurgery, can talk to my mom like they are the best of friends, can WRITE in fluent chinese, has ONLY the hots for me and NO other men, and willing to submit to all my commands and desires.

And we're not supposed to SHAG?

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Let The Amazing Hunt begin! St. Leon Lee, the Virgin Hunter. CSI: Kuala Lumpur.