Thursday, December 22, 2005

.: What I want for Christmas is... :.

First of all, I do apologise to the regular visitors here, as I have not been updating my blog for the past month or so.

Now what do I want for Christmas? Traditional answers would dictate that I answer the following, in order of least important to the most, an so my politically correct Christmas and New Year wishes are:

5. A great career year ahead
4. Good health
3. Spend some quality time roasting chestnuts by the fire with loved ones
2. Gather around the dinner table with family members on Christmas eve laughing all the way
1. Bringing my wife and kids to a real winter wonderland in Canada (No, I'm not married. Neither do I have kids, or at least, none that I know of or will acknowledge their very existence, but this wish sounded real pious, so what the heck)

But oh for crying out loud, what issit that I really wish for Christmas and New Year? Here's the naked truth:

5. For Manchester United to win the Mickey Mouse treble (FA, League and Premiership) this season to save all Devils the blushes.
4. A Holly Valance and Jessicca Alba duet performing an exotic bisexually-themed dance (with the full monty, of course) just for me
3. I want my virginity, my innocence and my devotion to religion returned back to me (not that I have much of all of them to start with, but again, that's not the point here)
2. A filthy amount of money
1. A Tissot T-Touch Classic (for those of you boys, eat your hearts out. This baby comes with Touch Screen enabled Altimeter (in feet and metres), Chronograph (split and add time), Compass, Alarm, Thermometer (in ºC and ºF), Barometer as well as Date and Time (choice of 12H and 24H))

Merry Christmas, everybody :)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

.: On the road to happiness :.

So finally you walked down the aisle with the love of your life. Ah, thoughts of you brings back fond memories of our time together. You are, by far, one of the greatest and most special girl that I have ever known, though I never got a chance to tell you that. You are beautiful both inside and outside.

And I know the only reason we are not together today is because of our immense differences in social and religious believes, and I accept that. And I sincerely appreciate the chance you gave me to know you better.

Well then, congratulations to the both of you, and may you find long lasting happiness and love, Vic.

Monday, October 24, 2005

.: Sweeping it all :.

All of you who has followed my blog or know me personally would have figured by now that I have repented all my sins and is now a certified goody-two-shoes. However, it would be over my dead body if I'm going to let all my evil deeds go to waste, so I've decided to share some of my profound knowledge with the rest of you guys. And what better topic to share than the ever mesmerising topic of "How to ultimately score with the chick of your choice?"

So in the next 5 part mini series, I'm going to reveal all you EVER need to know about scoring how-tos and what-not-tos. Alex Hitchins once said "Any man can sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom".

Well, I'm no Hitch, but I have most certainly used an awesome variety of brooms before, from the traditional palm and coconut brooms to the 3600W Electrolux multipurpose, all weather wet-dry super vacuum, the mother of all suckers.

Okay. Before we get started with the hot stuff, we need to know a bit of the species we are dealing with here. A woman is complex, strange and extremely troublesome. But with a bit of guide, we can streamline them, categorise each into their sub-domains, know their natural habitates and traits, and we have already upped our chances.

Sub categories according to Difficulty Level (1 - Easiest, 10 - Hardest) :

Easy Meat (Categories 1-3)

1. The old virgin (Level 2) - Contrary to popular believe, the easiest gals to court are actually those that have never dated before. They are not exposed to the harsh realities of life, and very much still believe in the "Knight in Shining Armor" fairytale. Shame on you if you intend to pursue gals of this category for the bloody (literally) fun of it, though.
Magic wand: Charm and deceit

2. The Call Girl (Level 1) - If even after you had duly paid the prerequisite amount, the prostitute is not willing to sleep with you, you are seriously beyond help and you can stop reading this blog now. You are better off jumping off a cliff. Magic wand: A big, fat wad of cash

3. The Alien (Level 2) - Migrant workers (whether legal or otherwise) are usually looking for a local mate to hook up with, mainly to gain the PR status, but also it makes her look good in front of fellow countrymen. Beware of the 11 siblings, 2 aging parents and 50 plus nieces, nephews, uncles, aunties etc that you need to financially support after you make the mistake of marrying her though. Magic wand: None. As long as you hold a local citizenship.

4. The One on Rebound (Level 3) - Much more guys take advantage of girls who had just gone through a terrible breakup than you know. They are lowly scarvengers, akin to rats in the sewers, in my opinion. But if you are seriously THAT ugly or desperate, I do suggest you keep your ears open. You might just come across one that had just been dumped by her BF of 5 years (general rule of thumb is that the longer her previous relationship, the easier it is to score) and you'll then realise why I rate them as a mere Category 3. Magic wand: Sympathy, Sensitivity

Tough Nuts (Level 4 - 6)

5. The High Flying Corporate Climber (Level 5) - The ambitious corporate chick who will not let anything get in the way of her career, not even personal relationships. Not really challenging, if you happen to be her boss or a very senior staff (such as an MD or VP) in another company. Use euphuistic corporate rhetorics like "the current market displacement", "capital commercialism", "senior management reconciliation" etc generously and you are sure to capture her attention. Magic Wand: Corporate speak

6. The Chronic Cynic (Level 4) - This type of girls is typically suspicious of everything and everyone around her. She thinks the whole world is full of nasty guys who are only interested to get into her panties (which isn't that a far off anyway). She trusts no one but herself, and even if she gets hooked up to you, she will never, EVER trust you completely. Beware of the repercussions if you want to venture into this teritory. Magic wand: Alcohol

7. The Rocker Chick Wannabe (Level 6) - Think Avril Lavigne. Moderately easy, if you happen to be able to play one of the following instruments: drum, electric guitar or bass, and is one of her band members. Totally no brainer if your job happen to be a music producer with a leading record company. Magic wand: Fake name card with crediantials stating you as "Senior Director: New Talents Division, Sony Music"

8. The Goth (Level 6) - She sees death everywhere, and is usually heard talking about souls, karma, feng shui, pontianaks, evil spirits, ghouls and loves dark makeup. Magic wand: I have no idea on this one. I don't date dead people. I would suggest you drug her with heavy sedatives though.

9. The Geek (Level 6) - The girls who usually want to excel in every single thing in school. Usually have a real bad dress sense, and even worse make up skills. The amount of Grade As you can achieve is directly propotionate to your marketability value to her. Occasionally, however, The Geek does fall for the "bad boy Young and Dangerous image" and screws up her life in the process. Magic wand: Do better than her in class, in sports and in all co-curiculum activities. They are a sucker for other 'superstar' geeks.

10. The Silent One (Level 5) - They gateway to a girl's heart is through her ears. Therefore, it is no surprise that many guys find it extremely daunting to charm a girl who is very quiet or shy in nature. The Silent One's standard modus operandi (mode of operation) is always a one worded answer. This is a real killer in terms of conversation.
However, there's always that ONE thing that she holds dear to her heart, and it can be anything under the sun. She could be a big Clayderman fan, holds a secret dream to be an exotic pole dancer , has always wanted to travel to Timbuktu or wants to meet the Abdominable Snowman or whatever. Find that hidden desire at all cost, and you have the key to Pandora's box. Magic wand: The One Key to rule them all

11. The Hopeless Romantic (Level 5) - Enough said. The only challenge is to decide the right kind of chocolates, flowers and for the love of God, do not, EVER, forget Christmas, New Years Day, Easter, Chinese New Year, her birthday, her mom's birthday and whatever days that requires a gift. Call at least twice a day during courtship. Magic wand: The RIGHT gifts, the RIGHT place to dine, and the RIGHT mushy and corny things to say

12. The Feminist (Level 4) - Feminists are usually also hypocrites. They expect themselves to be better than men, and think they could live without them. But in return, they want to be pampered, treated with the same equal gentleness, respect and tender loving care as the rest of the girls. Sure they can live without men. The hardcore ones probably owns quite a collection of vibrators anyway. Now, feminism is usually an escape route for bored and unpopular girls. They want to be 'cool' among their girlfriends, and wants to be seen as a rights champion and matriach protector of the group. Notice how the most radically feminist biatch of any gal-groups is also usually the ugliest and most overweight? No coincidence there, I believe. Feminists are usually bitter, sore and are big pains in the ass. Magic wand: What's wrong with you? Stay the fuck away from this kind.

Nuclear Propulsion (Level 7 - 8)

13. The Glamor Girl (Level 8) - Gorgeous girls who looks absolutely delicious and usually work as one of the following: Air Stewardess, Model, Actress, Events Promoters (F1 race queen, for example) and Beauty Consultant. Usually people who gets to meet with the public very often, is well versed about the perils of dating the wrong kind of guys and has the absolutely right and leisure to pick and choose the kind of blokes they want to hook up with. Usually prefer the loaded, tall, dark and handsome kind. Going after girls like these requires a shit load of preparation, preseverance, background intelligence and deep pockets. Treat this like a military warfare exercise. For example, you need to:

i. Identify your strategic and local objectives (what step comes after next)
ii. Identify allies and work with them (her good friends and colleagues, you idiot)
iii. Initiate deep territory intel (know her enviroment, family, interests and the kind of work she does, her favourite brand of panties - hint: girls who go for Audrey are less complicated than those that goes for Vic's etc)
iv. Have good logistics support (unlimited cash flow for gifts and shopping sprees)
v. Learn camouflage (dressing up like a Tan Sri's son helps lots, trust me)

And believe me, the lists goes on and on. I will tell you guys more about them in the following series. So the bottom line? Girls under this category can be very very difficult, but with some practice, I think you'd do just fine. Magic Wand: They all share 2 common Archille's heels: Vanity and Insecurity. Be creative about what to do with them.

14. The Mensas (Level 8) - Girls in this category are extremely intelligent, very well read and usually fun to have a lengthy conversation with. One common way to identify The Mensas is that they can practically chat about ANYTHING under the sun with you, may it be from the different brands of sanitary pads to the difference between fuel injection and carburators, or from masccaras to Real Betis. The scary thing is they can switch among these topics all in one breath. True Mensas are rare, and I would say only only about one in 30 girls (3.3%) are qualified to come into this category. These girls are also usually picky, choosy and fussy about boys (sometime they stand on the brink of feminism... just barely). Every single syllable that comes out of your mouth, every body language that you show, even down to your dress code, are taken apart, analysed in REAL TIME, and their meanings translated on the fly. All these, while you are stupidly yaking away and she flashes you the sweetest of all smiles. In my whole life, I've met only about 3 girls who falls into this category, and believe me, they are definitely dangerous, if you do not know how to handle them. Magic wands: 1. Learn to shut up and listen 2. Read a shit load of books

Rocket Science (Level 9)

15. The Vengeful Ex Girlfriend (Level 9) - You double timed her and she found out about it. Twice. With different girls. You posted nasty stuffs about her in your blog, in your website and your mass e-mails to your buddies. And she found out about that too. You went up to all her good friends on the day you broke up and told them what a bad lay she was, to the absolute shock and horror of them. When her daddy confronted you on these issues, you beat him up and he had to spend 5 days in the ICU. She had sworn in blood to rip your intenstines apart, gouge your eyes out and feed it to the dogs and castrate you with a rusty butter knife if she ever see you again.And now you want her back coz you realised you missed her and forgot that one last round of pre-breakup sex for the road. Magic wand: A hell load of apologies and luck, you freak

Godlike (Level 10)

16. The Dyke (Level 10) - Trying to court a lesbian girl is one of the toughest thing any man could ever attempt to do. Therefore, if you ever think of seducing a true bred lesbian, then I salute you. The sucess rate of you ever sleeping with a CONSENTING lesbian is virtually nil. I have had the pleasure of taking up this Godlike challenge once, and believe me, I failed miserably to convert her to a more heteorosexual orientation. Was an interesting project to undertake, though. Magic wand: Nothing short of a Divine intervention


Most girls you meet out there can be classified into one or a combination of the groups above. Start yourself with the easy ones first, but as a general rule of thumb, and usually for your own health, stay away from (1) The Old Virgin and (12) The Feminist. They are usually bad for you.

16 groups of girls, gentleman. 10 Levels of difficulties. One objective. Good hunting.

Coming up: Different ways of securing the deal: An Integrated approach

Saturday, October 22, 2005

.: First Customer @ Sokmo, Mid Valley :.

October 21, 2005, 1:20:39 PM: The very first customer at Sokmo at the opening of their latest outlet in Jaya Jusco, Mid Valley Megamall, Kuala Lumpur.

A truly historic occasion that makes me extremely proud and happy. Thank you, people.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

.: My Final Farewell :.

My Love,

It has been almost 2 weeks now since I last felt your gentle touch, your serenely sweet breaths and your soothing aroma, together with your lovely warmth. Though I still see you everyday, the longing for your presence in my heart is fading slowly, but surely.

I still see you in the hands of other men occasionally and of course it pains me so. But I know that you are happy doing the things that you do best with those men, so for that, I am equally happy for you.

I am not bitter, nor would I be hateful. It was my choice solely to get myself attached to you, and for that, any goodness or hurt that comes from that was my, and mine only, choice.

I could still remember clearly the day you were introduced to me by my best friend on a rainy, melancholy night at my tender age of 19. I was innocent and naive, and I fell in love with your beauty immediately, and I craved for your touch ever since.

I know you never left my side even in the times of turmoil. You were the most faithful friend I would ever have. You calmed me down, you gave me happiness, you sang me to sleep. When all seemed lost, you were the one that managed to pull me up on my feet again. You were what I turned to at my lowest points of life, you were the first one I celebrate any achievements with.

My Dearest Love,

Ironically, it is for this very reason that I am saying goodbye. Faithful as you might be, I had grown too dependent on you. I know I am weak, but I could not help it. Not then.

But now I have found the strengths I need to leave you. For I know I have not treated you well enough, and therefore I must release you so could seek out joys with another man. I also need to chart out a new path in life without you by my side.

Believe me when I say this, corny as it might sound - It is much harder to for me than it is for you. But I know you were bad for me in the long run. You would one day come back and hurt me. Hurt me real bad. Somebody as potent as you deserves a stronger man. Or somebody who is less prone to a weak heart or a strong will. My body and soul is weak whenever you are around. You will wreck me one day in the future. For this I am sure.

So please forgive me if I never want to speak to you or touch you again. I know that deep down, you understand. Know this however. I will never forget the moments we shared. I will remember you for as long as I shall live.

More importantly, God Speed, and remember that I will always love you, my dearest, loveliest DUNHILL Lights.

Yours, with a broken heart,

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

.: Shocking :.

Let me give you guys a run down introduction of a recent blog that shocked me to high heavens:

"scums are for the dumps
Suanie posted in About This & Other Blogs on October 11th, 2005

I hate poor people. It is said that you can’t help being born – while that is sadly the undeniable truth, it doesn’t stop people like me from looking down on you with contempt and disgust. Some environmentalists say that being poor is not necessarily a bad thing, less consumer goods and less plastic used and stuff like that. There was no study done on this, I just made it up on the spot as a lame justification for the existence of poor people......"

Suanie went on to call poor people "scums", ugly people "irresponsible living organism", disabled persons "blame their genetic makeup for everything that goes wrong", and fat people "a menace to society".

I am not known for my tact nor humility, and yet I found the entry extremely repulsive. That blog entry was clearly on the borderline of being highly seditious and criminal against humanity.

I strongly believe in Karma. This person, should she not repent, will one day get to enjoy the exact life of persons that she so despise. That much, I am sure.

Monday, October 10, 2005

.: Email from God :.

To: sainthood Applicant Leon
CC: Benedict XVI, Al, Bud, Moses, Kuok Chung, Luc
Re : Application for sainthood.

My Child, Leon, while I'm very pleased and proud with your recent achievements, I'm have to reluctantly reject your application for sainthood indefinitely.

1. John Paul and Mother Teresa are still pending and I can't have another of my illustrious children ranting about this matter.
2. It is my eternal agreement with Al, Bud, Moses, Kuok Chung and Luc that we shan't take the flock of another.. Kuok and Luc have vehemently protested your joining my house as they both have 'greater plans' for you.
3. St Peter just put in another request for more allocation under the 9th Heavenly Plan for more toll booths at the Pearly Gates. Until we can solve the toll pricing issues with touch and go and Paul's credit card charges with Visa, I honestly can't let anymore pass thru the gates, no to mention spend extra dough on the altercation to the dogmas for new beatifications.
5. My son, your time as a lowly mortal is still unfulfilled. I need you still to spread my gospel for another several decades so do bear with me.

Honestly my son, sainthood and heaven is really over-rated.. The virgins have long lost their viriginity.. ( Imagine thousands of saints throughout humanity shagging them over and over again for eternity) The food here's all stale and tasteless ... white bread and cheese most of the time. there's no booze up here, no thongs and bikinis, what more to say tit flashing..
Sometimes i even wonder why the hell am i up here? no pun intended, Luc.

I've been wanting to swap places with Luc for all eternity but the bastard would'nt give in, even after sacrificing my son to the Romans...

So i urge you to reconsider, my son. Meanwhile i shall be down at Luc's place with Al for some rum and poker.. Leave a voicemail if the coverage's poor.



Apparently, even God makes the usual typo and grammatical mistake. To add to that, God even swears and curses. I guess we all have a pretty cool dude up there. In fact, this 'God' blogs. You can check out his entries ( here. Cheers mate :)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

.: Leon the Saint? :.

Attn: His Holiness
Vatican City State,
00120 Italy

Dear Sir,

Re: Application for Sainthood

With reference to the above, I would like to submit my particulars (as attached) for your kind consideration.

Recently, I have decided to quit smoking and have been rather sucessful at my attempt, thus far. This brings to a grand total of 5 sins and vices of which I have had its practice discontinued.

I stopped drinking alcoholic drinks like a fish about a few months back, although of course, I still induldge in the "Holy Blood" ocassionally. Next, it is a well known fact that for the past 3 years, I have never, ever gambled any amount larger than RM20 each time. Theoritically, RM20 or less for each gamble is an amount so small that it can be assumed that I do not gamble at all.

Next, I have been very kind to people. I have stopped all manner of sacarstic critisms or verbal bombardment towards the people whom I like.

I no longer have free flowing sex with wild girls in orgy parties. In fact, it has been so long since I last had sex (about 2 weeks, I figure) that for all purposes intended, I am considered a sweet, pure and innocent virgin.

As you can see from above, I have managed to abstain from the 5 deadly sins which modern men are prone to lean towards: alcohol, gambling, poison tongue, sex and cigarettes.

In fact, if I were to be compared to a lot of young men of similar age in my country, I think I would be seen as a pure and chaste angel, relatively speaking of course.

With this in mind, I am duly submitting my application to your good office. I would like to thank you beforehand and eagerly await your notice to attend my beatification ceremony.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,

Saint Leon

(Damn that sounds gooooood)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

.: Fucking bitches 'on the go' :.

I stood there, watching and cursing silently. Fucking bitches. Can't they read the sign? I look up again, just to make sure the extra LARGE signboard on top is clearly visible from all angles. Yes, very much legible, and probably the LARGE bold letters is viewable from miles away.

"EXPRESS LANE" was what's shown. And directly beneath it in no smaller fonts? "8 Items or Less". Strange. Even a 5 year old could tell what's being written. So it must be true then, that standing right in front of me was a pack of imbecile whores. That was the only logical explanation for this stupidity. Fucking bitches.

Look at the pictures carefully. They depict a very sorry excuse for being a human being. These entities exists for the sole purpose of taking up oxygen. Nothing more. A whole cart full of groceries, toiletries and a shit load of sanitary pads. I guess the new theory of the week would be that mentrual cycles does indeed lower the IQ of SOME females (not that these fucks have much of that to begin with anyway). So a whole shopping cart of about 100 items at the express counters eh? Fucking bitches.

And so happily they shopped till they dropped. And conveniently, they could just push their carts and carry their baskets to the nearest counters with the shortest queue. Who cares if they are normal checkout counters, or specially DESIGNATED express lanes for poor lads like me who just wanted to pay for ONE can of soda. Hell no. As long as they have it easy, the convenience of others can be shoved up our own arses. Fucking bitches.

Well, now you have your glories. I have sacrificed my precious time to take photos of your dirt ugly faces and paste it here on my blog (not that there's a lot of anything else to do while waiting for the counter girl to finish loading your loot into polysterene bags). Now the whole world could see your fucking faces, whores. Congratulations and FUCK YOU, you fucking inconsiderate bitches.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

.: Of Death and the Joys Of Life :.

The Reaper visited me again last night. This is the second time he has visited me, the first being when I was about 14 years old and I fell through the ceiling, nearly breaking my neck in the process.

He was deathly quiet as usual, but his message was lucid and forthright: Quit smoking, or he will be back very, very shortly, and this time he won't be as kind. You see, the nagging chest ache developed into a full fledged, throbbing pain attack with each breath.

When Death was right beside you, strange things do happen. First, you get revelations and flashbacks about the rights and wrongs in your whole life. Then, you start to fear a thousand things at once. You fear that you are unable to fulfill your purpose of life, you fear for your family and loved one's grief. Fears about love. Ah.. the greatest fear of all.

I have had a great life. People who knows me would know despite my bitter complainings, acid sacarsm and my aggresive outlook, I have always been rather contented with all that I have been blessed with. And I see how much my life could only get better. So indeed, I am truly blessed, and I pledge the following now:

  • I will lead my life to the fullest, giving all the joys to those who shared theirs with me
  • I will give my all back to the society when I am able to

So I have decided then, that this time, I am quiting the fags for good. No more half hearted promises and words. No more "One last stick, then I'll quit" craps.

I have no doubt it is going to be hard. It is going to take a hell lot of grit, determination and pain. I have also vowed to myself now that I am determined. I am not going back to the road corrupted by nicotine and tar. I want to live.

"When death comes it is never our tenderness that we repent from, but our severity." (George Eliot, 1819-1880)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

.: Crazy World :.

The world has gone mad. Well, actually, the world had gone mad a long time ago, ever since homo sapiens invented the wheel. But the world is an even crazier place today. Let's look at the following things that happened recently:

First of all, Liverpool is the reigning European champion. Any Tom, Dick and Harry that watches football would find that fact still very amusing. I mean Liverpool? Give me a break.

Next, Chelsea has all but wrapped up the Barclay's Premier League after 7 games, with 11 points ahead of the nearest rival. (Charlton is not, and I repeat, NOT considered a real football team, nevermind calling them 'rival').

After that, MU fans were booing the GODFATHER of Manchester United Sir Alex Ferguson. That was an unprecendented event, and never in the history of the Red Devils have the fans booed Fergie. NEVER. (except during his first season in charge when he nearly got sacked - even then, I sincerely don't think the fans booed him)

Last, and the strangest among them all, Mr. Arsene Wenger of Arse-nal has this to say about Ferguson and his unfortunate booing incident: 'You know I am not his best friend, but I found it really appalling,' the Frenchman said. 'Of course, like the players we are only as a good as our last game, but what this guy has done for the club, I find it horrendous and nearly unbelievable.'


Monday, September 26, 2005

.: Perils of Feminism :.

I still don't get it. You see it everywhere now, but that does not make it any easier to understand nor comprehend. You see it in the TV, in female magazines, on the news and so on. In fact, I was surrounded by people with this desease since ages ago.

Yes, I'm talking about the malady known as feminism. These days, more and more girls are demanding "equal rights" and "equal opportunity" and similar bullshit along that line. You get the idea.

Now, little females (I am talking about those fanatic devotees of the Feminism cult), if you cannot understand anything else, then understand this: our roles as males and females in the society differs. Get that into your head first and foremost. If you have already started cursing at this point, you needn't read any further. You are beyond help anyway.

Ever since the cavemen days, our roles have been clearly segmented according to our levels of intellectual, mental, social and physical capabilities. Why is that part that hard for you to understand?

You, little feminists and your like minded sisters, are more suited for the following: child bearing, domestic chores and whatever it is that you are good at. Plain and simple. Why? Because me and the rest of the guys don't see ourselves suddenly obtaining the capability to be pregnant anytime soon, and it has been proven through the relative short human history that you are better at doing household chores than we are.

And when is it that the human society discriminated against females? After all, the homo sapien society is made out of 52% females. So you are saying that other females actually discriminates against you too? That's just plain ol stupid, if you ask me.

You think we males have been given all the opportunities in life? Every single, each and every one of them? Hell no, sista. We had to fight for life's little opportunities. We set our objectives, planned our way, and get on with it. We don't sit around with thumbs up our arses bitchin about not getting enough life's opportunities because of discriminations and gender preferences etc etc.

Now that I have made myself clear, please, the next time one of you little people comes to talk to me about me being a male chauvinist pig and stuff like that, read this: HAHAHAHAHA

.: Sign Away, Dudes :.

Finally, I have configured this blog page to allow comments from non-registered users as well. So sign away, guys.

Monday, September 19, 2005

.: Half full or half empty :.

"The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

One of the more apparent differences between humans is their trait of pessimism or optimism. I personally think there's no sane human being that can absolutely stand right in the center of that fence. You are either optmistic, or you are pessimistic. There is no such thing as a person being a half optimist and a half pessimist.

I would like to think I'm a staunch optmimist. I usually believe that things are going to do well, and that it will all end up rosy and happy. Now my trait gives me several distinct advantages, where one of them is of course my courage to try out new ventures. I have usually dared to fail, I am always ready to take the plunge and work hard at it, knowing deep down inside, it is going to end well, if I put in my best effort.

I am usually found to be rather more acceptable to failures than not. If I failed in a particular undertaking, I would tell myself that there must be something that I missed in my planning, and I would keep trying at the task till I succeed. It is not as much due to preserverance rather than optimism, as in the begining I had told myself that this is going to suceeed in the end.

Next, optimism gives me the drive. I would wake up every morning telling myself that today is going to be a much better one than yesterday. Sure, countless mornings have found me staring at my own face in the bathroom mirror wondering what went wrong yesterday to put me in such a dire strait, but then I told myself that it is going to be okay. And then a smile would form in my face, and the day usually ends up much better.

Optimism also gives me a more polished people skill. I communicate better, I give more constructive ideas and people tend to be happier to talk to me. In my line of work, people skill is the number one fundamental qualification that is most essential to the path towards success.

However, the downfall is optimism is the gung ho-ness that it brings along. You are sometimes so convinced that your ideas would work out, you passively igonore the obvious stumbling blocks along the way untill it's too late. Rest assured, though, that this is something I pay a lot of attention to, and I contstantly remind myself to take a step back and analyse the situation in a down to earth manner.

At the age of 25, I am already way ahead of most of my peers in terms of intellectual and career capabilities. I think I owe it to four things: my upbringing, all my good friends beside me, my wonderful other half, and optimism.

I did not write this blog to brag, nor do I write it to make anyone else feel bad about themselves. Instead, knowing that only people close to me would read my blog(s), I would like to instill a little bit more optimism in most of you. No matter how bad it seems, it will all end up alright in the end. Trust me on this.

Good luck, dear friends.

Destiny: It's not the chances we take, but the choices we make that determines our destiny.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

.: Open Letter to My Best Buddy :.

To my childhood friend,

Hi, and how are you doing? You called me at 3 am this morning to tell me about your breakup. I heard you whine and moan and complain. I listen without saying a word, because I know in times like these, a pair of listening ears is by far better than a blabbering mouth.

You told me you miss her, and you feel sorry for all that you have done. You are sorry you never appreciated her enough, you are sorry you fooled around and you are sorry for this and that.

I offer no comments, simply because I know your sorries are cheap. I once told you before, she is a wonderful and special girl. I told you before, you have to stop all the skirt chasing and all the silly boozing sessions. I told you you need to stop all the sexual prowness bragging and all the chauvinistic views about women. Furthermore, I told you before that all the gambling has to stop.

But alas, you, despite being such a wonderful friend to me, as always, blatantly refused to listen to me. You have always put your position in society to that of one above me and the rest of your good friends. Yes no doubt, we might not have been born with a silver spoon, nor do we come from an apparently aristocratic family background such as yours.

However, we are the ones who have been through thick and thin. We have to, sometimes literally, fight for what we believe in. We have to sweat in the midday sun and cry tears of blood at times just to put food on the table.

But that's what gave us a chance to experience life from a different point of view. We knew how to appreciate the little things in life a lot more than you. I told you before that you have to start to cherish her or you'll lose her. She had given you so, so many chances, and you repeatedly took her for granted. And now that she finally throws down her final straw, and she has given up on you.

To be honest, I think it's best for her. Such a great girl does not deserve a womanising jerk like you. That's the fact, plain and simple. She cared about you. She loved you unconditionally. I know as much, as she has told me that before. She could ignore your stupid ramblings about wanting to rule the world, she could overlook your gambling habits. But I don't expect a girl like her to ignore your repeated flings with other girls. And I told you as much before did I not ?

Once a man lost his most important pillar of strength, his life goes downhill from there. Your the rest of your life will come crashing down on you in no time now. The first blocks of the domino have started to fall. The rest should come raining on you like hell fire.

I know you will not listen to me now, and that's fine. All your good friends are used to this. We would be there, as usual, to catch you when you fall. That much I can assure you. But for you to climb up and run again from this round, I think it's going to be tough. With, or without your friends beside you.

I can only hope you take this bitter pill as a good lesson. I bid you all the best then, and may the grace of Allah speed your way.


Your best friend

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

.: Politics and War :.

A recent post by best buddy, Andrew ( tells of the perils of office politics via his own unfortunate experience. I too, have the same unfortunate incident of experiencing one rather recently.

I went thru the whole nine yards.. the grand suite of politics an war.. the whole, full pail of shit, so to speak. In this particular incident about 2 months back, there was the pre-requisite political factions. There were the supporters and the opposition citizens. There were fence sitters. Then there were the foreign observers from the 'UN'. Political watchdogs, to use a more formal term.

There was the usual heated political debates. The name calling, the clandestine SMSes. The last minute rallying before 'voting'. And then there were the war machinenary.

Anyway, the story goes like this. Me, being the new kid on the block, was put under the care of a senior in my company. Unfortunately, instead of viewing me as an asset to team up with her to complement each other, I was viewed as a threat since day one (a fact which I'm still very proud of - new staff of less than 1 day viewed as a threat to a veteran who worked for 5 years).

She tried all means and ways to get rid of me (or at least, away from her well guarded accounts - which she's supposed to share). She drew first blood, second blood, and god knows how many other countless times. She fired all the salvos in her inventory. From the cloak-and-dagger sniper fires to 155-mm howitzers. From grenades to heavy artileries. There were even precision smart bombs and heat seeking missles to add to that.

My response ? I remained silent. No, it's not that I was being a goody two shoes, nor was I afraid to fire back. People who knows well knows I am very vengeful and you never to piss me off unless you can take the repercussions.

No, oh no, I was buying time. I was new, so I needed that to study the office enviroment, the sentiments, the strengths and weaknesses. So I bought time by retreats and silence. (In modern warfare, if you are being attacked by a much stronger force, you retreat instead of dying. You slowly consolidate your forces, while studying your foe's strength's and weaknesses, as well as how he operates).

You see, her smart bombs weren't very smart, and artileries wasn't really on target. Occasionally, I get a bullet whizzed by my head and stuff, but generally speaking, I was intact and have not fired a single shot. In short, her abuses were not working as expected, and this frustrates her further.

She wanted to make one final massive push and bombardment after 3 months of frustration. She organized a mass meeting consisted of all the people in her factions (which numbered to 3 in total - including her). The military objective? To bombard me from 3 sides and flanks. And the strategic objective is the one last bomb to make me request for a transfer away from her team (and safely away from being able to steal her accounts)

By then, I had a fairly good idea of all her modus operandis, and her main weaknesses - she's extremely arrogant, and she's very impulsive, and she has a history of bad office politics (one of them stupidly against the ex-head of our division) - something I could use to my advantage.

I did 2 things in the morning before the meeting scheduled for the late pm. First, I harassed her perpetually via SMSes the whole morning. She told me to respect her, and I basically told her to go fly kite. This shocked her, as I have never retaliated. Shocked, but she was still confident of the afternoon's warfare (arrogance, anger.. use these traits against your foe, and you've won half the battle).

Next, I sent a discreet email to my Business Manager (he's the second most senior guy in my company now after the GM - but he was previously the same head of division that this lady tried to get rid off ) inviting him to sit in.

Imagine the shock on all their faces when the meeting started. The pissed off and red-faced smug looks were immediately replaced by shock, uncertainty and stammers.

I don't think I need to tell you guys how the meeting concluded. To cut the story short, the lady in question is now "promoted" to a different division, and last heard, she's leaving soon. Her two 'allies', well, they are now my friends (in politics, there is no permanant friends or enemies). But at least the girl smart enough to keep her mouth shut for now, and stay away from me.

But it's much too late. First blood was drawn. And blood debts remains so until paid in full.

And me? Well, I did say once before, never ever piss me off. I do not forget, much less forgive. I have not been known to be a forgiving person to everyone who knows me.

The best of it? I'm vengeful. I managed to gain back my neutral domain, but I have yet to declare my war on her (I have to appear nice for now, don't I?). And I have not yet even use any of my weapons. But rest assured that I am stocking up my arsenals.

The tide is changing now. The waves of change is here. I am much stronger here than I was 6 months ago. I hereby pledge, if either her or me have not left the company in 6 month's time, I can guarantee she'll wish she was never born in the first place, never mind attempting to piss me off. I swear this in blood.

- To my Business Manager, I sincerely thank you for being the fair and just person that you are. May God speed your way. -

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

.: Tall Dark And Handsome :.

Recently a very good friend of mine who religiously follows the teachings of the 'Dark Side' received this rather interesting message from one of the serial hunters in Friendster and decided to share it with me:

Subject: care 2 b frens?
Date: Friday, August 19, 2005 7:21:00 PM


himy name is Lau Tiam Bok,saw ur profile & interested 2 know more bout u i'm 27 years old, male and furthering my studies in pj

ask me what u desire so that i can provide details

can start with i'm the eldest of 3 have 1 bro & 1sis(twins) & no they don't look alike

like programing, net, swimming, reading & music

height 179cm according 2 sc we got extra taller by 1cm in the morning & minus 1cm in the evening am i boring u with sc facts or i sound like a geek?just joking yeah i love 2 joke around

tall dark handsome(most ppl say that but i think ok onli) let u b the judge if we decided/can meetcos 'beauty' lies in the eye on the beholder

that's all for nowhope 2 hear from u soon warmest regards, smile always & have a nice day

take care bye


Friendster public ID:

*cough* ROTFL

I think some lessons can be learnt here... if you want to get a date, first and foremost, please use proper, legible English. Does not have to be something boombastic, but at least with proper grammar and vocabularily, especially on your first message.

Next, I figure if you want to declare yourself as 'tall, dark and handsome', the very least you could do is not publish your picture along with it.

I guess the only consolation is this sad episode is that I told my friend to enquire whether if he's loaded. So Mr. Lau Tiam Bok, I sure hope you have a filthy stash of cash under your bed, coz I figure that'll be the only chance in hell you are gonna get laid.

.: Online Blasphemy :.

I'm going to shift all my previous 2 blogs to this one, as I finally realised that out of marketing ploys, Friendster's Blogs does not allow non-members to post comments, and that kindda suck big time.

For the moment, since most of my ramblings are still in the other two, do take a minute to pay them a visit :)