Monday, October 01, 2007

.: Cheating :.


Pam wrote a very biased (which is normal for any feminist) article recently about cheating men. I questioned strongly on that issue, not defending the morality behind it, but on how she forgot to mention that women cheats too.

Men, women, gays, bisexuals, trisexuals, dogs, cats and even plants cheat with multiple partners. So why are men being singled out? Why, whenever there's a divorce, it's usually always assumed that the infidelity is on the guy's side?

I have met so many cheating women, sometimes I'm wondering if women cheat more than men. The worst thing is that when a woman cheats, she actually tells all the details, down to the physical construction of the penis, the length of the intercourse and whether the men can actually "perform" to their best friends. Now ladies, do not deny these accusations. They are true, and you know it.

When men tell their mates, it's usually "Oh, I shagged her. And yes, she's pretty good". And that's about the end of it.

Which one is worse?

This is a post (and probably Pam's post) is essentially about the moral fibers of the human being. So let's get a bit into morality. Let's say a man is unfaithful. He goes out, meets a woman, brings her back to his place. They have a nice shag. Later the woman finds out he's got a gf / wife. And he invites her out to dinner again the next night. And she says yes.

Shame on the man, you say? Right. Shame on him.


What about the woman?

Did you ever asked if she's actually attached?

If she's dumb enough to sleep with him on a one night stand basis, shouldn't she shoulder the blame for at least the same amount?

Shouldn't she have checked out the history of the man first? No? Why? Coz she was drunk? Feeling horny? Coz he SEEMED single? Because he was so charming? So it was lust then? DOH!

And she agreed to go out with him again the next day. What the heck, she said. Nothing else more to lose.

Shame on the man? Shoot the man? Aye.

But I say, SHAME ON THE FUCKING BITCH TOO.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

.: Yak Yak Yak :.


Why the hell issit that women just can't stop talking? They wanna talk about everything under the bloody sun (that is, as long as it interests them). Why can't they just learn to shut the hell up and just enjoy, well, the silence?

I was sipping a nice quiet cup of coffee at Starbucks recently, trying to get some work done in the process, and this old friend of mine happen to pass by and sat down and talked for an entire 2 hours. Non-stop. About her friggin dog. About her mom who's bitchin her about smoking. About not being able to hold on to a job for more than 3 months. Complaining like hell about this loser she's dating who's double timing her (she conveniently left out the part that she's double timing him too anyway). About how Starbucks' cake sucks. And about just whatever shit that comes to her mind. WTF!

Next, my friends are complaining to me that all their wives / gfs wanna do is talk. Apparently, they said that women felt that talking is the most effective way of communication. And apparently, they can't seem to stop either.

Look, I am not against good communication. But remember that communication is something that goes both ways. If women expects their boys to care about the sales in Jaya Jusco now, and how cheap the Akemi comforter sets are (50-70% discounts you know), then you must also be able to INTELLIGENTLY discuss why Wayne Rooney and Carlos Tevez shouldn't playing together if given a choice.

No? I guessed so. Now, we boys never tried to even bring up football subjects with you ladies, so why is it that you feel you MUST, at all costs, tell us (with full animated details) about your stupid best friend who got dumped for the 300th time? She's stupid. That's it. Plain and simple.

Next time you ladies feel like you need to have a verbal diarrhoea again, please remember that:

1. We don't give a shit.
2. We don't wanna give a shit. Ever.
3. We need silence. Lots of it. And we are happy with that.
4. We can communicate in lots of other creative ways. Put on your lingerie, and see us purr.
5. We, for once in our life at least, would like to talk to you about OUR interests.

Now, if you wanna qualify as an effective communicator to the opposite sex, see if you can answer these questions:

1. What's the difference between having a NOS (Nitrious Oxide) system as compared to a Turbo Charger in a performace engine?
2. In snooker, what color balls do we pot in sequence and what's their points worth? Pink, Blue, Green, Brown, Yellow, Black
3. How many configuration and versions are there in the Joint Strike Fighter (JSF), the F35?
4. The Iskandar Economic Region project in Johor have been critisised heavily. Why?
5. What happens after an offside have been declared in football?

No? Then let's enjoy the silence.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

.: Return of The King :.

I was so caught up with work recently, I barely have time to eat decent meals and sleep properly, never mind writing on my blogs. School holidays have typically been a hectic season for my line, and adding to aggressive expansion, I was pushing 14-16 hour days regularly.

Anyway, I am building something which I am passionate about, and which am very proud of, so I am not complaining. And for now, at least, I am finally getting a short breather.

So many things that I want to write about, and so little time. But first things first... I will begin by asking my regular visitors how they are all doing... Jo-No, Pam, Claire, Angel and Adrian, how is it going? Drop me a line, let me know if everything's cool :)

I am not going to give a history lesson, so let me see if I can update everybody on my life for the past month or so:

1. Change of regular hang out spot from Flam to Mystique and Sanctuary

2. Have my seventh operations branch up and running, and will target a total of 10 by end of the year.

3. Ready to get a new car, but don't know which one I want. Maybe you guys can help me decide.

4. Disappointed at the lack of feminist posts (such as OTJ series) on Pam's blog. She must have sobered up... or actually fell in love with a real man. Regardless, I am rooting for a return of Feminist Pam. Much as I hate to admit, feministic posts from her (which I still think is crap) do indeed brighten up my day as I read thru them.
So there u go ...

Updates in the form of Soundbites :)

Oh .. and here it is:


or





Sunday, August 19, 2007

.: Standing In The Eyes Of The World :.

I just uploaded my latest video to YouTube.com yesterday with a music video of Manchester United ... my heart, my soul, my love. Hope you guys like it as much as I had fun making the video.



Ella - Standing In The Eyes Of The World (and the approximate English translation)


Pahit getir hidup... dan pengorbanan

(Life is full of bitter memories and sacrifices)
Terpaksa dihadapi, demi kejayaan
(But we have to face them if we were to succeed)
Terdidik sejak mula, tabah berusaha
(Learning from young, to be strong and work hard)
Tanpa cuba melangkah, tak kemana
(Without trying the first step, we will end up nowhere)
Di mana kau berada
(Wherever you are)
Pencapaian tak tiba dengan mudah
(Success does not come easy)

( Chorus )


Kini "Standing In The Eyes Of The World"
(Now you are standing in the eyes of the world)
Hanyalah selangkah dari nyata
(Only one step away from realization)
Keazaman membara dijiwa
(Determination burned into your heart)
Menanti saat bebas merdeka
(Waiting for the moment to exhale)
Tiba masa kau melangkah gagah
(It's time you step forward boldly)
Bersemangat ke arah matlamat sedaya upaya
(Spirited towards your goal)
Engkau terunggul
(You are the best)
Wajar "Standing In The Eyes Of The World"
(And deserve to be standing in the eyes of the world)

Harapan yang pernah terkulai layu
(Old hopes which have died out)
Kembali segar mekar bawah bayanganmu
(Is resurrected again with you)
Setiap manusia ingin berjaya
(Everyone wants to excel)
Namun tak semua miliki tuah
(But not everybody have the opportunity)
Engkau menghampirinya
(You are near it)
Kesempatan telah pun tiba...
(The chance has come...)

( repeat chorus )

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

.: OMFG!!! My Little Black Book still EXISTS!!! :.

I was rummaging through some old storage spaces in my room recently, and OH MY GOD!!!

I actually found my old little black book (and YES, it was even elegantly BLACK in color) with a collection of gal's names and phone numbers.








I know every guy have a book similar to this, but I can't believe that mine still exists. And mine is really a little book, not much larger than the size of a credit card.

Regressing, I started the collection with just a handful of names back in 1994 (a little over a decade away), and filled it up when I got to Form
4 (1996). Today, it has exactly 196 names and numbers.









Now what I did with that book is of course highly classified. Needless to say, that book brought me lots of fond memories, a few sad ones, but all of them fully cherished!



Full pull out - front view



Full pull out - back view

Saturday, July 07, 2007

.: Candle In The Wind :.

My dearest second cousin left us 3 days ago, at the age of 5. The most graceful, friendly and brave girl I have ever met and loved, I can't even begin to describe the sorrow that we all felt when she left us.

I just want you to know that you will forever be in our hearts, and that we love you.


Wednesday, June 13, 2007

.: Waiting for a Star to Fall :.

I was in Velvet recently, on the week right before the hectic school holidays start. I don't usually party in KL, but Lynn was having her birthday party there, and I promised her I would at show up.

It was Mambo night, which meant Eighties music all night long. I was there with James, and we went early. Around 11 PM, the DJ played the original version of "Waiting for a Star to Fall" by Boy Meets Girl, albeit with a slightly faster tempo.

And just barely a few days before, I was debating with my group of buddies to determine our favourite songs of the Eighties and Nineties. And that night in Velvet, I knew that my claim of "Waiting for a Star to Fall" to be the best song of our growing up years is fully justified.

The groups 'Cabin Crew' and 'Sunset Strippers' both released a remixed version of this song about a year back, but the best number is still, without a doubt, the original.

Here you go guys. Eat your hearts out.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

.: Hannah T :.

Hannah is the sweetest, coolest and smartest celeb in the Malaysian scene ... and she's really, really small sized and petite, which I love in a lady.

Oh and her new album Crossing Bridges? Absolutely AWESOME! Check out the samples here, and also for Hannah's official site

In the first song, "Truly Yours", Hannah's passion and voice can match that of any American Idol finalists.. honest.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

.: Inspiron Death Part 2 :.

24 April 2006 8.47 PM

My laptop booted up with an agonising, painful whirling sound.. slowly into the BIOS screen. Checking Memory ... done. Detecting primary hard disk... FOUND!.

Okay so far so good. As long as the hard disk could be detected, there was hope, however faint.

Next, the Windows XP boot screen. Boy, that was the first time in my entire life that I was ever so glad to see the XP screen. That also meant the drive was at least partially readable. More hope. And even more nervous anticipation. Was my Inspiron going to come all this way, and then let me down?




And there and then, I started praying to God, Jesus and Adun. (Adun is the Protoss God in Starcraft). I told God that if He lets my drive boot up alright, I would quit smoking. I told Jesus that... well, come to think of it, I never spoken to him. But I promised Adun I would start playing Starcraft again if I can grab my data out alright.

And guess what? They seemed to like me much on this fateful day. Finally the Windows logon screen. My confidence grew. I punched in my password, and about a minute later, my DESKTOP!

Okay. I realised I forgot to do a list of priority things to backup. Took out a scratch pad, and the list looked pretty much as follows, with most important at top:

1. Work Data on D:\ (price lists, quotations, proposals etc)

2. Personal Data on D:\ (photos, videos, MP3s and projects)

3. Emails and Addresses

4. Full C:\ Backup (if possible)

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

The damn sound was back. Damn damn damn damn, I cursed Adun. I had not barely even started copying my files. Have to work fast, I urged myself.

I checked the crossover cable from my Dell notebook to my Acer notebook, and making sure one notebook could ping the other. I brought down all antivirus and firewall programs in both notebooks.

On the Inspiron, I mapped my Acer's D:\, which contains almost identical data updated to about 3 weeks old compared to the Inspiron, and booted up a program called SynBack.

SynBack (from a company called 2BrightSparks.com) is a wonderful program which scans both drives for latest updated files, and only copies files which have changed. I got SynBack to scan for changes, and start backing up immediately after.

I was sweating. I estimated that on my D:\, I would have roughly about 100 MBs or so worth of new files (MP3s, proposals, videos etc). Now, it was not the copying of the files that I'm worried about, as 100 MBs should not take a long time, but the scanning portion required the program to run through each and every single folder, sub-folder and file in the disk. That would take an extremely heavy toll on the ailing drive, but I had no choice.

A 3 week old sync would take about 1 hour to complete. I refused to wait at the sidelines, knowing well that it was completely out of my hands, and only Fate determined whether the data gets out alive or otherwise.

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

I left the room for what might be the last ciggarette of my life, should the whole backup process go well. Came back 5 minutes later, and SynBack has done about 5% of my Inspiron D:\.

When (if) the whole process was done, I would have a perfectly syncronized and backed up D:\ drive in my Acer notebook at the end of the process. If it failed halfway during the scan, then all efforts and prayers would have been in vain.

I lowered the brightness of both LCD screens, and head to bed, to the sound of pure, clean death about to come to my beloved Inspiron as my only companion. Tomorrow is judgement day...

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

To be continued.........

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

.: Inspiron Death Part 1:.

24 April 2007 - 10.24 AM

I woke up, feeling slightly groggy, but otherwise refreshed after a night of restful sleep. By virtue of habit, the first thing I did was reach my hand out of my comforter, to the floor where my trusted old friend laid, my Dell Inspiron 510m notebook to check for work emails, and any updates on ESPN.Soccernet.

That's how I start my day. Everyday for the past 2 years. Hell, I even prowl the web before I give my other half the customary morning kiss.

This morning, however, there was an eery feeling swirling around my room. It sounded more quiet than usual. Deathly silent. There was also a slight feeling of static in the air, coupled with bone chilling cold and heavy humidity. Something evil looms.

I flipped open the LCD cover slowly, as I was not fully awake. Then I hear a strange sound. Soft, barely audible, but it was there nevertheless.

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

That jerked me up instantly. I have not done any IT support (save for my own personal hardwares) for the past 6 years, but the training I had as a Systems Engineer back in 2001 rushed into my head instantly. You see, just like a medical doctor trained in the art of emergency medicine and procedures, we were trained to identify emergency symptoms in a computer. And this is the biggest one of them all. The cardiac arrest of the notebook.

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

That distinct sound can only mean one thing: The hard drive is either dead, or dying real, real soon.

Took my hand off the laptop, shell shocked. Panic.

When was the last backup? 3 weeks ago. Any new, important data ever since? Yes. Lots. Holy mother of God. That massive proposal I created for my client last week wasn't backed up. The long hours I put into creating Max's videos. That wasn't in either. Not to mention 3 weeks of emails. Damn, damn, damn.

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

Windows was still on, but hanged. That is a good sign. No Bluescreen of Death. That means the drive is still partially alive, at least for now.

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

Okay, I told myself to calm down. I almost rushed to map my laptop to my server shared drive and try to copy all the data to the server and hope for the best. But what did basic training say?

We know that to try and push the limit of the drive further will kill it even faster. We also know that heat is also a problem in situations like these, as the disk's spindle will expand due to heat, and that worsen things. It is also known that the drive have less than 48 hours of operation time left to live, regardless of what one does to it.

So I got the facts. What do I do with it?

"Tik ... tik ... tik...".

I made a decision. And in doing so, I am taking a huge risk, but with potentially high returns..

Slowly, and gently, I carressed the power button. Applied some pressure on it, and turned the whole notebook off.

I lowered the temperature of my room air conditioning to the lowest possible, 16 degrees centigrade. And then I went on to do my daily chores, although for the whole day, my heart was heavy, and I keep hearing the "tik... tik... tik..." repeating in my head.


24 April 2007 - 8.36 pm

Came back, and my room was freezing cold. Almost like the morgue. I gently touched my Dell, running my fingers through the sleek LCD screen. I felt the keyboard keys, and finally I rested my hands on the small touchpad. Looking for signs of life, looking for hope.

Next, I had a decision to make again. Do I move my Dell to my workstation, where I could have nearer physical access to the network switch, router, server and my other notebook, or do I leave it as it is? I decided to move it, after weighing the pros and cons. You see, moving a sick drive is very very dangerous. One very gentle jerk, and you can be rest assure your data's fried.

So I picked up the notebook slowly and laid it on top of my table. I plugged in all the necessary pheriperals. Cross cable into my Acer Aspire. USB connection for the DVD Burner. USB mouse. Power cord.

And I stared at the "Power" button, touched it but not pressing it. I hesitated. I dreaded this moment for the whole day. According to experience, there's a 70% chance the drive won't boot again. Ever.

Slowly, I applied some pressure to the button. Here we go. Moment of truth...


To be continued.........

Monday, April 23, 2007

.: Max on YouTube :.

Just made this short video of Max for YouTube. Hope you guys enjoy :)


.: Angel :.


"The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine - Four Tops"

Angel sent me this track and virtually completed a big part of my life. You see, I have been searching for this song for about 8 years now.

I first heard it when this DJ friend of mine, Robert Mah, played it regularly at this joint we frequent. Unfortunately, the song was on LP, so I couldn't borrow a copy of the CD.

Anyway, before I digress, as I tend to, this post isn't about Robert, LPs even me. I specifically wanted to thank Angel for her efforts and kindness to locate this song for me.

I am not even going to try to figure out how long and how tough it took her to do this, as even I have problems locating it for a BIG part of a decade (and believe me, I'm an expert serial MP3 leecher).

For that matter, don't start calling me a cheapskate - the CD is not available in Tower Records either.

And until 5 minutes ago, this song was not even available on streaming sites, even YouTube.

Well, I've uploaded the song to YouTube now, as I believe for such a great song (one of the greatest ever, IMHO), the only logical step is to share it with the world.

For a bit of background information, the song was written by Albert Hammond and Diane Warren, and performed by one of the most popular groups in the 70-80s era, Four Tops. The song first appeared in their album Indestructible, out in 1988.

---------------------

- Extra Footnote -


Lyrics:


It’s hard to see you walk away
It hurts to see you go
But if I asked you to stay
Would it matter anyway

I’m not surprised you’re leaving
I’ve known it all along
But my life will still go on
Yes, my life will still go on

I’ll find a way to make it
Through the long and lonely night
Find a way to live without you
Without you in my life

‘cause baby, baby
The sun ain’t gonna shine if you’re not with me
I’ll live without the love you have to give me
I’ll make it through the night
I’m gonna be alright

But baby, baby
The stars ain’t gonna dance across the heavens
The moon is gonna hide away forever
I know I’ll make it through
But it won’t be the same without you, baby
Without you, baby

Maybe I’ll be better
Better on my own
I can stay out all night long
I’ll have a good time when you’re gone

Maybe it won’t be so bad
To be here all alone
I’ll have all the time to do
All the things I wanna do

So go ahead and walk away
If that’s what you wanna do
‘cause I’ve got my life to live
And I can live it without you

‘cause baby, baby
The sun ain’t gonna shine if you’re not with me
I’ll live without the love you have to give me
I’ll make it through the night
I’m gonna be alright

But baby, baby
The stars ain’t gonna dance across the heavens
The moon is gonna hide away forever
I know I’ll make it through
But it won’t be the same without you, baby
Without you, baby

I’ll find a way to make it
Through the long and lonely night
Find a way to live without you in my life
Without you in my life

‘cause baby, baby
The sun ain’t gonna shine if you’re not with me
I’ll live without the love you have to give me
I’ll make it through the night
I’m gonna be alright

But baby, baby
The stars ain’t gonna dance across the heavens
The moon is gonna hide away forever
I know I’ll make it through
But it won’t be the same without you

The sun ain’t gonna shine if you’re not with me
I’ll live without the love you have to give me
I’ll make it through the night
I’m gonna be alright...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

.: Manchester Utd 7 - 1 AS Roma :.

One of my proudest moment, really. Second only to the 1999 Treble year.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

.: Kiasus and Kiasis :.

The following are actual conversations that took place between me and my direct Singaporean counterparts. Names have been changed to protect those not so innocent kiasus.

Scene 1 Act 1

Me: (Shakes hand) Hey Alex, how's it going?

Alex: Good good. Our market is growing pretty well. In fact, I think we're gonna hit our numbers way before the end of the fiscal year.

Me: Oh? That's great news. Congratulations.

Alex: Thanks. I heard you guys in Malaysia are slogging it out. What's wrong over there?

Me: Slogging it? Nah, we are not doing too badly. We've achieved all our quarterly numbers ...

Alex: (cutting me off) You know, I think it's the mentality. You guys need to work harder, and set your goals properly. You see, the objective is very important.

Me: My team is working our socks off, Alex. Frankly, I can't ask for a better team.

Alex: I'm sure you guys can improve. You see, we just sealed a 30 mil dollar deal from Singtel last month. It's all due to the hard work and never say die attitude, which is lacking in the rest of the ASEAN region. That's so sad, you know. Phillipines is doing much worst off than you guys up there, and Indonesia is not much better either.

Me: Phil is a young team, Alex. The Phil operations just started barely 3 years ago. Give them a chance.

Alex: It's not about young or old. What they need is proper guidance. In fact, I have submitted a proposal for us in Singapore to do a regional thing next Q. We'll all travel to each ASEAN outfit and try to see if we can train the sales guys up. To push the numbers, so to speak. I think our Singaporean guys can share their ideas with you guys.

Me: I can't comment on that. You need to put that up with Regional for that kind of request. Anyway, honestly, Alex, I think we're doing ok as a group. Nobody posted a red report, so far.

Alex: Yes, but with our experienced guys guiding you all, I think we can all perform better. Frankly, I am tired of the rest of the region dragging our group performances down.

*sigh*


Scene 1 Act 2

(Second unfortunate meeting)

Alex: Hey Leon. I heard your boss, she's not really performing.

Me: Well, as I told you earlier, our team is doing really great, much better than the previous two years, I suppose.

Alex: You know, she's a Malay. They cannot perform. All they do is wait for hand outs. I've heard about you doing wonderfully, but if you continue tagging along in the group, I'm afraid things might not look good.

Me: What? Hey man, in Malaysia, we are all performance oriented, regardless of race, nationality or religion. You need to watch those words, especially when you come to my country next time around. Besides, we work as a team. We support each other. We do not create mutiny against our superiors.

Alex: Not mutiny. We need to work smart man. Look out for our own backside. If you want to climb the corporate ladder up fast, that is.

Me: Oh? And just how am I supposed to do that?

Alex: You mustn't continue this group thing. You need to let Regional know who is performing and who is not. If you are doing well, you need to learn to take credit for it. If not, nobody will notice you. And if your boss isn't doing her job, you need to report that up too. Subtlly, of course.

Me: But we do work as a group. We help each other, and we take the credit or fall together. It's more fun that way, you know.

Alex: It's not like that here in Singapore. Here, we all watch out for our own backs. Lots of sharks around the corner, you know. Your best friend might just turn back and bite you.

Me: (speechless)

*and Alex proceeds to give me a 30 minute premier on high riding office and racial politics, to which I almost vomitted at the end of*


Scene 2 Act 1

Tony: Hey Leon. I heard your team did pretty well last quarter. That's good news man. Regional is really paying attention to you now.

Me: I think our team got lucky. But oh, well, we do try our best. That's what they pay us for, right?

Tony: Yeah. It's just so sad that the head of the country is a Malay. If not, can perform even better.

Me: Tony, I don't think race got anything to do with it.

Tony: It has everything to do with. Us Chinese, we are the ones working. They are just enjoying the fruits.

Me: We do try the very best in our country to not use the US and THEM termininology, man. It's considered seditious. If we want fairness and equality, we have to first give the same.


Scene 3 Act 1

(At 8.45 after company dinner)

Me: Hi Robert, this is a great dinner isn't it? Hey you know, us and the Phillipines lads, we wanna go for a few beers after this. You wanna join?

Robert: Thanks, but we've got lots of work to do for tomorrow's presentation. Say, are u free for the next 1/2 hour? I wanna run some numbers by you...



I'm not even gonna comment on those scenes. You draw your own conclusion. And here I have people asking me why I dread going to Singapore, and why I'm always chilly towards Singaporeans in general...

(For the record, I do have a few really cool buddies from Sing. There are some down to earth, normal ones there, I assure you. It's the rest of the country that sucks.)



Wednesday, April 04, 2007

.: Dear God :.

Attn: God
CC: Pope Benedict XVI, Vatican City


Dear Sir,

RE: Stay of Application - Sainthood for Leon

Forgive me, God, for I have sinned. And I have sinned aplenty, if I may add. I have been a very very naughty boy lately, and I can't say I didn't enjoy every bit of it though.

You see (of course you do, silly me), I have been doing lots and lots of naughty things lately. You are aware of the wild parties I have been having, no? Not that any of that has been faults of mine, mind you. My nutty friends are the evil ones, swaying me from the path of rightousness.

You are no doubt in deep anger, and I fully understand. But punish those bastards first, before you castigate this humble servant of yours. They are the ones who keep inducing me with the alcohol. The will is strong, dear God, but the flesh is weak. Forgive me.

You are also aware of my unholy fornication of various loose maidens. Punish them too. If they did not show those cleavages and perky backsides, this poor soul would not be tempted so. But don't punish them too hard, though. I am rather fond of each and every one of them. Well, most of them at least. May I suggest some mild whipping and candle wax drip? Handcuffs too, perhaps?

I am now smoking more than a choo choo train, and for that, go punish Dunhill or Marlboro. Make the CEO of British Tobacco and Phillip Morris gay. And make them both fornicate with each other. They shouldn't tempt me with such sweet, dangerous allures. Very unholy (and unhealthy too), I tell you.

If you recall, recently I submitted my application for Sainthood to the poor John Paul II fella, and he has since kicked the bucket and gone to see you. I think that under the current unavoidable circumstances, it would be in the best interest of all parties for me to withdraw that application, and request for a stay of execution (it means put that into your KIV box).

I will need time to repent and lead back a pious life. Give me oh I dunno, another two weeks or so. I will start self cleansing again, and probably re-activate my application to you.

I would also like to take this opportunity to say that you are one cool dude, because other deities would've sent a lighting bolt down my arse (if you would forgive my French) by now, even before I have a chance to hit the "Publish" button. Ben, yo, you are cool too bro.

Lastly, forgive me for not writing more, as it is already 7.45PM, and its time for dinner, and then more alcohol, and hopefully followed by some good old fornicating again. As they say, since you have sinned, why not all the way? After all, the confessions and consequences later are a tad about the same.

Cheers mates.


Yours Sincerely,


Saint Leon VI (pending)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

.: Babies :.

I have started noticing this back about a decade ago, and recent new aquaintances have just shored up my curiosity a notch further.

Is it just me, or is it true that girls who share the same name also share the same common traits?

Let me list down a few, and see if you agree:

Michelle - Pretty, sexy, straight talker, disliked by most other girls, hard to maintain a long relationship, big boobs

Rachael / Racheal / Rachel - Usually found with long straight hair, and has a strong scent of sex appeal around her

Kelly / Cally - Tall, great figure, target of most guys in high school / college and has a high sex drive or is usually horny

Irene - Exotic, asian look, soft hearted, likes to hang out with the wrong type of boys

Karen / Caren - Aggressive, not so pretty, usually earns good money, or comes from well to do families

Sharon - Horny

Amy - Pretty, but usually also ends up with wrong kinds of buggers and screws up their lives

Stephanie - Attractive, great body, highly manipulative

Cheryl - Smart, pretty

Emily - Sweet, sexy

Tracy - Damn bloody high sex drive

Esther - Usually looks ordinary, but great at dressing and make up to cover for the shortfall

Melanie - Smart as hell

Jessie / Jess / Jessy - Totally screwed up life, falls for guys easily, usually quite attractive

Hannah - very pretty, very popular back in high school / college

Jacqueline - bloody manipulative bitches

Monday, March 26, 2007

.: Access Point Whore :.

In the past 6 months alone, I have had the opportunity to burn through 4 wireless Access Points (AP) in my house.

In honor of the departed, the poor APs on the right, from top to bottom:
1. Orinocco AP 4000 by Proxim - Dead after 3 weeks (firmware corruption)
2. 3Com OfficeConnect-G - Dead after 1 year (board malfunction)
3. 3Com OfficeConnect-G - Dead after 1 week (firmware corruption)
4. AP 2500 by Proxim - Dead upon first use (bad original firmware and config)
On the left, is my new and currently in use, Linksys Wireless-G. Let's see how long this baby can last.
And oh yes, I do have the bad habit of tweaking and torturing all my hardwares until they die miserable and painful deaths. Oh yes baby!

.: Max :.

Our Max... the cutest lil thing...

.: LiGhTs.[DeSiGn] :.

Ah, finally managed to get my website up and running after the long period of maintenance.

Check it out:



.: Adelaine :.

If someone were to ask me, name the most perfect person you've ever known, I would enthusiastically shout out, "Adelaine. Definitely Adelaine. Gosh, you gotta meet her man!"

Her mere presence can bring smiles to a boring party, lift anyone who's in gloom, and she never ever fail to make me laugh each time we get the rare chance to talk. She's the kind of gal that brings out the best in everybody. And she makes everyone just wanna be a better person (a cliche I borrowed from "As Good As It Gets"). Just like that.

I've known her for probably as long as anybody would, and together, we've been through some really cool ups and downs, especially the time when we were college mates. And I assure you, nobody would ever forget this wonderful person, least of all me.

She listens, she gives honest advice and she's willing to help out anyone. I'll bet you if there's ever a person who would lend a perfect stranger money for food, well....

Did I also tell you that Adelaine is also one of the smartest person around? She aces everything in life: high school, college and now, career.

I know what you're thinkin. Now, a person that has been gifted all of the above are usually one of those geeky girl you find in every class, who is everyone's friend, but whom nobody's willing to date.

God, however, has granted Adelaine another gift: She happens to also be one of the hottest babe I've ever met. And believe me, I don't pay compliments like these easily. Heck, she was one of the beauty queens of our college. And honestly, I think she puts those silly Miss Malaysia, Miss Cheongsam, Miss Chinese and Miss Whatever I-Want-World-Peace to utter shame. Everytime.

Adelaine, perfect!

Now, Ade, that last entry you posted on your blog about men being unfaithful, well, I STRONGLY disagree. I was just hoping that after reading this posting, you would grant me the wish of having it changed to something that reflected more fairly on my fellow men. Heck, I've probably met more cheating gurls than men. Honest!

http://adelaine.blogspot.com

Friday, March 23, 2007

.: Love and Prayers :.


Caryn,

My heartfelt condolences. And sorry that this message came so so late.

Love and prayers,

Leon


Thursday, March 22, 2007

.: Jono's Confession :.

Extra, Extra, read all about it. Jono walks around naked. ALL the bloody time.

This is probably one of the most honest blog I've ever come across. It's gross, but hey, at least it's original.

Oh, and he's got a great blog too.... really took the time to spice it up with .. well, girly stuffs.

http://jo-no.blogspot.com/2007/01/jono-confession.html



Tuesday, March 20, 2007

.: Dear Hot Chicks :.

This post (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/281499301.html) is so darn funny, I thought I'd re-post it here:


Dear Hot Chicks,

Hi, my name is Tim, or Joe, or Sam. Though we haven't had a formal introduction I'm sure you know me, or at least what I represent here. I'm fat guys. I'm nerdy guys. I'm short guys, bald guys, dorky guys, spazzes, weirdos. Hobos, and guys without great jobs, cars, or clothes. I just wanted to take a second to talk to you about something very important to me, something it doesn't seem that you realize:

If you are physically attractive and dress in such a way to grab the attention of attractive males, you will also grab the attention of us unattractive males.

I'm sorry you're attractive though I am not. Believe me, it is probably as hard for me as it is for you. It isn't like I didn't sometimes wish I was some hot dude with whom you would make out at some shitty party with bad music. But just so you know, you were showing a lot of cleavage on the escalator at Barnes and Noble today and even though I wasn't the guy you wanted to attract, I like boobs just like he does. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the creepy guys. I know how to look at some boobs without staring or showing up in your driveway, but if you catch me checking you out please don't look so pissed off. What if I knew some hot dude and was about to point him in your direction but changed my mind because now you seem like a bitch? Bet you didn't think of that while buying that short skirt did you?

Please don't think I'm asking you to become the chick in the bar who is a little ugly and past her prime who wants any and all guys to stare at her and have endless conversations about sexuality like that one time in college when she totally made out with some chick at a party and a whole bunch of frat guys got boners. I'm just saying, if you go fishing don't get mad if you catch a boot, or a tin can, or even maybe some seaweed.

.: The Dreaded Commitment :.

I was watching the long winded movie, "An Officer and A Gentleman" starring Richard Gere last night, and boy, what a LONG movie it was.

Not much substance to it, I must add, but there's one point finely highlighted rather beautifully in the film: the phobia of men towards commitment and the tricks slimy bitches are using to lure men to get hitched. *sigh*

Ladies, leave men ALONE!!!!!!!!

So what if we like to live as if there's not a care in the world? So what if we love to have free flowing sex, booze and fast cars? So what if we booze and smoked and get stoned till we dropped? So what if we are still not ready to settle down, even at the age of 40?

So what, so what, so what?

You wanna settle down? Fine. Go find some geeky virgin fresh out of high school. You want a husband? Fine, go get one on Match.com or answer to the newspaper ads.

How come every gal goes out with a guy, and immediately plans for the long term shit (with some even thinking about the kids' names)?

Why can't we just go out with you, shag, and leave it at that? Why can't we take things as it comes, you know, live like there's no tomorrow, TODAY?

*sigh* Just leave us the hell alone, alright?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

.: Female Drivers are CRAP :.

Attn: Director
Road Safety Department
Ministry of Transportation

Dear Sir,

RE: Immediate Ban of All Female Drivers On Malaysian Roads

With reference to the above, I would like to call to your attention on the extremely poor driving skills (that is, if you can call them "skills" at all) of female homosapiens and the hazards they pose to other innocent road users.

I strongly believe that most major road accidents, injuries and deaths are caused by or related to females (kindly refer to attachment below for further statistics).

Allow me to summarise some of my findings in the regular driving problems of women:


  • Females think that when she enters a highway, she should enter directly into the fast lane, despite the fact that the ongoing car is coming at 90 KM/h.
  • Females assume that one may drive on the highway at any speeds convenient to themselves, and personally, I have trailed women drivers countless times on the overtaking lanes driving at 50 KM/h, whilst flashing my lights so much that I though my bulbs were gonna melt.
  • Women generally feels that it is perfectly alright to do makeups and touch ups (FYI, touch ups are similar to make ups, just that make up is like tarring a new road, but touch up is more to patching the pot holes) in the car, WHILE its in motion. Since we are on that subject, FYI also, mascarra is like painting the street lamps to make them look taller, foundation is well, the rocks below the tar road, eye shadow is the flowers you plant by the streets to make it look more grand than it actually is and lastly, the eye liner is like you have a one lane road, but you paint it to look like its got two lanes.

Anyway, I digress.



  • Women drivers are usually emotional subjects. They are unable to think logically, inclined to panic and cannot judge speed and distance accurately. Allow me to remind you that each one of the flaws are perilous by themself, nevermind a combination of all of them (which every women is scientifically proven to suffer from).
  • Lastly, two words, my good sir: parallel parking.

I trust that you see the point I am trying to make. Suggestions to eradicate this grave social ill are as follows:



  • Immediate ban of all drivers of the female gender
  • Strong enforcement and jail terms for offenders.
  • Introduce the bicycle as an alternative and compulsary mode of transportation for females (it's GREEN, it's healthy, and all of us guys get to see bouncy uh, assets as added bonus)

Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures. And there is no time in history more desperate than now. People are dying out there as you are readin this, Sir. My brethrens brothers (skillful and proper male road users) are being terminated in large quantities daily. These are very real and tangible HUMAN lives that we are talking about.


We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day the world will call out in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Road Safety Day!



Thank you.



Yours Sincerely,




Leon





Appendix A: Various Goverment Research Statistics and Findings



http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=607202
http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/ohim/womens/chap26.pdf
http://www.atsb.gov.au/publications/1998/pdf/Gender_Fem_5.pdf

http://www.atsb.gov.au/publications/1998/pdf/Gender_Fem_3.pdf


http://ph.state.al.us/chs/HealthStatistics/Reports/mva1.PDF

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=12214367&dopt=Abstract


Appendix B: Female Drivers are CRAP








Friday, March 02, 2007

.: Criterias :.

After reading thru MINI's blog (http://www.minishorts.net/) about the criterias her mom set for her about dating a man, I couldn't help but noticed how similar my mom's lists was, despite me being a guy and all.

And so, if my memory serves me right, here's the list (or pretty much most of it)


1. Must be Chinese.
2. Must be younger than me. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
3. Must be educated at least until university. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
4. Must have stable job. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
5. Must be loyal. (and just how the hell am I supposed to judge that, I am still lost after all these years)
6.Must not be Muslim. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
7. Must know how to save money.
8. Must not be lazy, otherwise I have to work my entire life to feed my wife. (uh?)
9. Must not like to talk to other men except me only. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
10. Must not be a smoker. (or else she would chase her out of the house with a broomstick)
11. Must not drink.
12. Preferably teochew or hokkien. Hakka is totally banned.
13. Preferably not earning more than you. (or she will be dominating and rebellious)
14. Preferably around 1 to 3 years younger than me.
15. Preferably from a well-to-do family and educated. (Doctors, Lawyers or Engineers preferred)
16. Preferably willing to share financial burdens with me.


Now, here's where the list gets different from Mini's:

17. Must be able to cook, clean and wash.
18. Must be totally domesticated and submissive.
19. Must be tall, preferably above 5' 6" and look HOT. (her words were "pretty, with big eyes and feminine traits")
20. Must have a great, tight arse. (yes, indeed that's my mom's criteria, not mine. Okay, so happens that I love great tight arses too, but according to my mom, it's better for child bearing purposes)
21. Cannot come from broken families.
22. Must love children.
23. Must not quarrel with mom in law, auntie in laws and any other in laws.
24. Must be able to speak, read and write in fluent Mandarin and English. (basically an Oxford educated Ah Lian... hmm)
25. Must be an untainted virgin. And cannot have sex till we are both married.


Okay. So let me sum it up:

I'm supposed to search for a VIRGIN CHINESE Holly Valance, who knows how to cook and loves ALL other household chores, educated with a PhD in Neurosurgery, can talk to my mom like they are the best of friends, can WRITE in fluent chinese, has ONLY the hots for me and NO other men, and willing to submit to all my commands and desires.

And we're not supposed to SHAG?

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Let The Amazing Hunt begin! St. Leon Lee, the Virgin Hunter. CSI: Kuala Lumpur.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

.: The Mighty Glowing Bron :.


Heheheheheh ....


Here's the full glowing profile (pun intended):
About Me:
I am a human, a common girl in the world.I have bron in JB, glowing up at Ipoh, study in Penang, & work at KL. So i dunno where i am from...
Hehe :pA bit crazy & a bit emotional... Easy to happy & easy to crying also...
Sometimes im a sanguine & extrovert but im a serene & self-abased at sometimes also.
So u can say i am a person in duality character.I like to take pics, specially take with myself...
:PI hope to love, i love myself & i trusting happiness in front of me !!!
Now for a bit of explanation with the help from Dictionary.com:

Dutch: bron
fountain [ˈfauntin] noun
a source
Example: God is the fountain of all goodness.
san·guine /ˈsæŋgwɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sang-gwin] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident: a sanguine disposition; sanguine expectations.
a·base /əˈbeɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uh-beys] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object), a·based, a·bas·ing.
1. to reduce or lower, as in rank, office, reputation, or estimation; humble; degrade.
2. Archaic, to lower; put or bring down: He abased his head.
Footnote:
For all my reader's info, I am human too. I have bron in Kuching, I glowed (pretty brightly, I must say) in Kuching too. I would like to think that I am still glowing. Everyday.
I also think I'm pretty sanguine. I do not self-abase myself much, but I do tend to self-abuse at sometimes myself with lots of alcohol hehehe
I take pics with myself too. Myself, along with my neighbour's disembowelled kittens hanging from my ceiling fan.
I trusting happiness in front of me too.. especially when I see a bunch of hot babes sauntering right by .... oh the bliss...