After reading thru MINI's blog (http://www.minishorts.net/) about the criterias her mom set for her about dating a man, I couldn't help but noticed how similar my mom's lists was, despite me being a guy and all.
And so, if my memory serves me right, here's the list (or pretty much most of it)
1. Must be Chinese.
2. Must be younger than me. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
3. Must be educated at least until university. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
4. Must have stable job. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
5. Must be loyal. (and just how the hell am I supposed to judge that, I am still lost after all these years)
6.Must not be Muslim. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
7. Must know how to save money.
8. Must not be lazy, otherwise I have to work my entire life to feed my wife. (uh?)
9. Must not like to talk to other men except me only. (or else the neighbours and old hag relatives would talk, apparently)
10. Must not be a smoker. (or else she would chase her out of the house with a broomstick)
11. Must not drink.
12. Preferably teochew or hokkien. Hakka is totally banned.
13. Preferably not earning more than you. (or she will be dominating and rebellious)
14. Preferably around 1 to 3 years younger than me.
15. Preferably from a well-to-do family and educated. (Doctors, Lawyers or Engineers preferred)
16. Preferably willing to share financial burdens with me.
Now, here's where the list gets different from Mini's:
17. Must be able to cook, clean and wash.
18. Must be totally domesticated and submissive.
19. Must be tall, preferably above 5' 6" and look HOT. (her words were "pretty, with big eyes and feminine traits")
20. Must have a great, tight arse. (yes, indeed that's my mom's criteria, not mine. Okay, so happens that I love great tight arses too, but according to my mom, it's better for child bearing purposes)
21. Cannot come from broken families.
22. Must love children.
23. Must not quarrel with mom in law, auntie in laws and any other in laws.
24. Must be able to speak, read and write in fluent Mandarin and English. (basically an Oxford educated Ah Lian... hmm)
25. Must be an untainted virgin. And cannot have sex till we are both married.
Okay. So let me sum it up:
I'm supposed to search for a VIRGIN CHINESE Holly Valance, who knows how to cook and loves ALL other household chores, educated with a PhD in Neurosurgery, can talk to my mom like they are the best of friends, can WRITE in fluent chinese, has ONLY the hots for me and NO other men, and willing to submit to all my commands and desires.
And we're not supposed to SHAG?
Let The Amazing Hunt begin! St. Leon Lee, the Virgin Hunter. CSI: Kuala Lumpur.