Monday, October 10, 2005

.: Email from God :.

To: sainthood Applicant Leon
CC: Benedict XVI, Al, Bud, Moses, Kuok Chung, Luc
Re : Application for sainthood.

My Child, Leon, while I'm very pleased and proud with your recent achievements, I'm have to reluctantly reject your application for sainthood indefinitely.

1. John Paul and Mother Teresa are still pending and I can't have another of my illustrious children ranting about this matter.
2. It is my eternal agreement with Al, Bud, Moses, Kuok Chung and Luc that we shan't take the flock of another.. Kuok and Luc have vehemently protested your joining my house as they both have 'greater plans' for you.
3. St Peter just put in another request for more allocation under the 9th Heavenly Plan for more toll booths at the Pearly Gates. Until we can solve the toll pricing issues with touch and go and Paul's credit card charges with Visa, I honestly can't let anymore pass thru the gates, no to mention spend extra dough on the altercation to the dogmas for new beatifications.
5. My son, your time as a lowly mortal is still unfulfilled. I need you still to spread my gospel for another several decades so do bear with me.

Honestly my son, sainthood and heaven is really over-rated.. The virgins have long lost their viriginity.. ( Imagine thousands of saints throughout humanity shagging them over and over again for eternity) The food here's all stale and tasteless ... white bread and cheese most of the time. there's no booze up here, no thongs and bikinis, what more to say tit flashing..
Sometimes i even wonder why the hell am i up here? no pun intended, Luc.

I've been wanting to swap places with Luc for all eternity but the bastard would'nt give in, even after sacrificing my son to the Romans...

So i urge you to reconsider, my son. Meanwhile i shall be down at Luc's place with Al for some rum and poker.. Leave a voicemail if the coverage's poor.



Apparently, even God makes the usual typo and grammatical mistake. To add to that, God even swears and curses. I guess we all have a pretty cool dude up there. In fact, this 'God' blogs. You can check out his entries ( here. Cheers mate :)

1 comment:

*adelaine said...

hahahahha.. well u can always reapply.. i think he's just not very efficient :) too much poker too little time..